I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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