I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
