He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
