when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
