My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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