um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
