Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
