i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
