Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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