This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
