Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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