Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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