you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
