she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
