Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
