He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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