I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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