She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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