fuck your aforementioned shoe
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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