Fuck appropriateness.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
