I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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