ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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