you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
