Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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