I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
