Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
