booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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