I wanna bring you to show and tell
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
