butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
