I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
