he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
