Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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