i just wanna soil my oats bro
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
