Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
