You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You are the jesus of drinking
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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