Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
