I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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