My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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