so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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