arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
