Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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