i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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