i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
