The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
