I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
