I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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