Don't you send me to vm
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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