Whod you bang
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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