It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize