Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
