Please, let me fuck your mom
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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