so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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