only if we run a train.
done.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
